The Pain, The Teacher

You do not owe the world anything.
You do not owe others an explanation.
You do not need validation from the exterior.
They will judge,
But you do not need to give them your power.

There are reasons of great depth,
Why you are where you are,
A place you do not fit in nor belong,
You have to be patient for the resolution.

You have it in you to do great powerful transformative things,
But you are not in debt to the world to turn your pain into purpose.
No, not just yet.
You’re gripping for insight,
Clarity.
The “why”.
Drop it.
Resolve your search.
There is a season for all that surrounds you, internally and externally,
And there is a season to allow introspection into your wounds, your pain.
This is that time.

Stop putting the pressure on yourself for not being healed yet,
Let yourself show up day after day – where you are.
Those who judge have not experienced the depth of trauma.
Those who have experienced, meet you with compassion.

There are reasons beyond your knowing,
There are answers that you long for,
But please my dear, do not seek them now.
Let them come to you in the stillness of calm.

If you need one life line, let it be this-
Do the inner work for yourself,
Become the highest version of yourself.
You will attract who you are.

The desire to numb is consuming,
But I dare you to experience the depth of each moment.
This is a time of great yang expansion,
Let your soul rest, let your body sleep.
You are healing,
This takes a great reservoir of energy.
Do not belittle yourself for the fatigue you feel.
Fight with fire the body’s desire for more “doing”.
Sleep. Rest. Daydream.
Sleep, my darling.

It’s okay to build walls, to keep your distance,
It’s okay to pull away, reserving your fire.
It’s okay to say no, to change your mind.
This is a time is for self inquiry,
Not for nurturing the egos of others.

For no other reason than random fate,
Sometimes the innovent, the gentle, the soft,
Are the ones hunted down, arrows in their back.
The intellect will try to make sense,
Because random luck is too much terror to live with.
But resist the urge to tense your muscular body,
Preparing for battle, preparing to defend yourself.
Stay gentle.
Stay soft.
Stay true to your authentic self.
If you can stay gentle in this cruel world,
What a victory that will hold for you.

Resolve the need to escape or flee the discomfort.
There is a place you belong, waiting for you,
But trust the knowing that first you must heal,
And experience all there is to experience right here and now.

When the student is ready,
The teacher will appear.
Your sorrow,
Your raw breaking sorrow,
Is here to teach you.

Master the lesson,
Grasp the depth of this teaching.

Do this,
With full conviction.
Then hold true to unbreakable faith,
That there is somewhere you belong.

First,
Allow yourself to belong to your pain.
Let it consume you,
Break you,
Hold you.

Master this,
Befriend the pain,
Then calm will come,
Like the setting sun.

You belong.
You will find where you need to be.

Peace.
Oh delicate peace.
It is waiting under the muddy waters

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