xlv
i am
cocooned
in eternal hibernation,
far gone.
deeply
sinking
falling in the slumbers,
into the Bardo.
absorption
into nothingness.
neither here
neither there.
ultimate absorption.
i hear under desert ambience,
3 piercing cries,
a vulture’s alarm:
“WAKE UP!!!!”
i hear, but keep my eyes shut.
i don’t need to open them,
i know it is him calling-
black bird.
“madam…
it’s time you wake up.
it’s festival season.”
i feel a wave of chills.
my eyes open.
the black bird
flutters away.
“aajao (come),” he says, his voice echoing in the golden skies.
without questioning,
i know i must follow him.
i look over to the guru deep in meditation,
not opening his eyes, he communicates awareness-
smiling with the warmth of the Thar desert,
opening a relaxed right palm and softly gesturing “go on”.
i bow gentle to to Guru.
i leave the others, still sleeping in a trance.
i climb down rooftop steps leading to Indian back alleys.
i go.
i hear my heart beat,
i hear the drums,
i’m unsure which is louder.
a horn is pulling me.
i weave through alleys,
vibrations leading me to unknown.
“there it is”…
a break in the alley..
i see –
a river
of color,
of sound,
of estatic bliss.
there is joy.
celebration.
it’s intoxicating.
“what do i do??” i ask Blackbird
i’ve never seen anything so grand!
Blackbird, calm and steady, says with a grin, “join the dance!”
with a playful push, his wings press into my upper back and pushes me forward into a crowd of locals.
my shyness freezes me.
i turn around to look at him,
with wide eyes and an unspoken pleading “don’t make me go”.
he has no time no respond.
a young local girl, around the age of 12, comes running towards me.
she grabs my hand and pulls me deeper into the crowd.
i look back to blackbird for rescuing but he is of no comfort.
he smiles with his beak, his normally stern black eyes now twinkle with amusement, and he flies away. while rhythmically reciting, like the drums of the parade:
sat chit an nan dah roo pam ahum neet yah mooktah swavah vah vam.”
realizing now,
i have no choice
but to be swept away
in the dance of Hampi festival
ajao –
later…
daylight
turns to sunset
turns to starry nights..
black bird and i reunite in the empty streets of Hampi,
his role – the protector- making sure i make it home safely.
i am picking out magenta flower petals from my hair, my cheeks hurting from smiling from ear to ear.
though i spent the whole afternoon dancing, i feel light and with limitless energy. i walk with a bounce in my step, like childhood days.
blackbird is walks beside me, with high amusement of the shift in my demeanour. i am a whole different person. he enjoys this very much.
i: that was so much fun!
blackbird: haan. (yes). as it all should be.
i: you know… i though the Bardos would be serious and grim.
blackbird: nahin (no). i brought you here for a purpose. the Tantriks embody what you have missed in your human life. life is a celebration, a dance, an ecstasy. you spent so much time in the darkness, in survival mode. it was your karma that caused you to experience that, but it is your karma for a new season for your next life.
i: oh.. *i pause*.. this is something i don’t understand. if the Bardo is from Buddhism, why did you bring me here to study from the Hindu Tantriks?
blackbird: beautiful girl, it is one and one the same… * he pauses* .. you see, it is humans who desire to separate and label. the wisdom, is eternal and without boundaries. a different flavour, of the same intention.
as the adrenaline wears off of the days events, my mind goes to places of yesterday.. i think of “him”.. a brothers passing, much too soon..
i: do Christians go through the Bardos?
blackbird with in tune to my inner world, sees through my question, he reads my mind: he knows i am asking because of “him”.
blackbird: his story is not mine to tell. my role here is to transition you through.
i feel winded.
blackbird sees my sufferings, and offers a salve..
blackbird: he’s at peace. you meet again. same same, but different. that’s all i can say. this is very important.., we must stay present in the bardos. this is a time that all the karmic seeds you developed from your past life, marinate, leading you into your next life. if you trust, all will resolve. that includes incomplete karmic cycles of yesterday. but you mustn’t focus on that. if you grasp and if you cling now, it will negatively effect your future rebirth.
i: so what do i do?
repeating the words of previous, this time in the starry night of shop lights in alleyways…
blackbird: enjoy the dance.
he says in a playful tone, and a surprising flapping of his wings with electric joy.
like two 18 year olds walking home from the bar,
we continue our way home, into the night.
i- telling him of tales of the afternoon,
and he- taking it all in, with immeasurable jubilation.
we sing –
we laugh –
we dance –
we’re alive. and
savoring the glow
that can only be found
in the dance of Hampi festival.
daveyhproductions 
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