Category: Behind the Scenes
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good morning, Belguim. (november)
they left. everyoneeveryoneeveryonehas left. i’m numb,i can’t be sad anymore. the hiccuped tearsfind their closure. in the deepest of subconscious knowings- isn’t this what i wanted? somehow, it just doesn’t feellike what i wanted. the abandonment is the adhesive-blinders on. novemberdims the skies, for fairy lightsand other worldly realms. now is the time, to write the book. i begin. one thousand. two thousand… words… time,now measuredin cafe…
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burrard inlet (postcards from canada)
i arrive, granville island. my hair is down, long blonde hair softly curled. pops of undertone baby pink peak out from the bottom, whisperings of “i felt sad and needed color.” i’m dressed in my favourite dress, peachy pink with floral blues.i even do my makeup too, soft and subtle, but intentional. a pop of glitter white in the corners…
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West 4th Avenue (a reprise)
baby boyi filtered myselfi’m not sure who i’m protectingbut i went a little too easy on you rooftop partiesmade to impress. you know,you didn’t have to try so hard. i’m not on the table for taking. truth isyou pissed me offthe way you looked me up and downi never felt so fucking objectified, humiliated. the way i had…
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September
i sensea pulling of the arrow back-grief waves and panic attacks. i feel shut downsof internal systems.i ask for gracefrom my loved ones.i’m struggling,i’m failing them. oh.. i feel their pity..i don’t want that.sick animals must disappear to heal their wounds,i have alot of those..it’s almost too many, too deep, too infected.so i retreat.sun setsto blue hour,…
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dear brother-
where are you dear brother? are you safe?are you warm?have you eaten? are you at peace? everyone says you are here, watching, always with me. most days i believe that to be true. but i’m hiccuping my tears in,“oh just get on with it already.” no one likes a sad girl. fuck it. i just miss you,big brother. so much…