xxxviii an ashram, i sink into, not knowingthe outcome. blackbird says, "be here now"and i listen.i don’t know what to do. so i do what i do best, i flee. i escape into Goan waters, it goes to my mid thighs, each wave, a resurgence, a remembering. i’m stripped down,to an olive green bikiniwith my blonde hairdripping wet with sea salt and grief. i... Continue Reading →
Gokarna (Into the Bardo)
xlii amidst the dance, that flows around me, i feel a friction, a heavy resistance. i am in Gokarna. admist deities of great divine. pujas and worship, expression outwards,redirection inwards. yet..i feel so small. i wish to be elsewhere. i don’t know where. the friction grows. like the clicking of blackbird’s talons on glassmy mind is spinning faster than the beating of festival drums.“what do... Continue Reading →
Hampi pt 1: Savasana (Into the Bardo)
xlvi i’m astate of greyscale. i feel stripped. is this freedom or aloneness? i exitthe train.unlikeany reality i’ve experienced before. arrivedin darki watchthe blackbird flickering his wings, “aajao”. (come) he flutters into the sky like a whim- perching on a rooftop ledge, he calls me. i climb repaired stairsi seethe guru, standing, presence like a lion. fierce. the sunrising,sunlight... Continue Reading →
Vancouver Departures pt 1 (Into the Bardo)
“what is it like to die?” i asked. so small. so timid. my words, unveiling fate. aware of what’s to come, i cannot backtrack. thirty two hours from now.. departure. time is not linear, and in this moment, i need it to freeze. he is this embodiment. he is this person. with him, i feel bonded.like family, from another time. i am... Continue Reading →
Cancer Moon (Prelude to India)
i am pulled.to where, i dont know. but i go, into the cold, into the night, alone. i am miles from home reached first by car, but now i am on foot. it is winter in Alberta prairies. the white snow is muted grey, with outline of trees against black skies. i am not properly dressed, i feel burning in my finger... Continue Reading →