The Great Undoing of 2019
Koh Phangang Thailand
If I were in the west,
I would begin this journey on the eve of destruction
where one ending meets a new beginning.
A beginning of my choosing
To set the backdrop,
A linear movement from this to that to that,
In a pleasurable flow of sequence and timing.
Beginning to Conclusion.
But I am not in west anymore.
I am here.
In Eastern movement
Of circular union
Draped in unity.
Which is why I will start my tale here-
January fifteenth, 2020,
In the Kingdom of Thailand.
Abandoning the Yoga ashram I will call home for ninety days,
The setting for a deep immersion of personal exploration.
I intertwine in the local traffic on a rented scooter until I find a place to park along side a gravel alley road.
I am in search of the right place,
I’ll know it when I will see it.
A search for a place to be along ocean side-
Beautiful but not too beautiful to be swarmed by other humans-
Private but not too private that I need to worry for safety-
A place to be. A place to honour.
I walk for fifteen minutes until I find exactly what I have been looking for.
I lay down on fluffy sand, my red towel that once was a scarf in Canadian winter memories. From my back pack, I take out a tied bandana, enclosing the contents of incense, a lighter and a candle.
How does one honour the year anniversary of an estranged brothers passing?
If I were in the west, I’m sure it would be different from what I have chose today-
I’m sure it would entail a self destructive abyss of alcohol and anger.
But today, here in the east, with a full heart, I perform a ceremony of offering, a Puja.
Lacking the formal training on how to preform Puja in accordance to the teachings of ancient texts that I have come to study, I lead with an open heart.
With a flicker of the lighter,
I release flame onto the wick of a lotus flower candle.
Leaning onto teachings of Buddhist wisdom,
I put faith in that one year ago today
His soul left his body so he reincarnate into something or someone else.
Not an end, but a recycling of continuing rebirths and deaths.
Well sure, it sounds foolish to you maybe,
But to me right now, it’s what I’ve got to learn on to.
“Happy Continuation Day, brother” I whispered aloud.
And from here,
I begin to unravel the tale, to you
Of the Great Undoing of 2019
When karmic cycles came to resolve
And the journey of a lifetime began.
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