I suppose this is what they call longing
A subtle yearning to dissolve solitude.
I think of “him”, whom I have not yet met,
Or here but slyly hidden in the shadows.
Only time will resolve the heart’s pondering.
I wonder often,
Who he is, where he is,
Is he living his truth?
I wonder on nights like these,
What each mistake, move, and decision
He is making in order for our paths to cross.
I wonder often too,
More than I should,
The type of person he is.
Without knowing who he is,
I know he is kind. Playful. Wise.
Truthful and Patient.
And his smile-
Crumbles me into a nervous love sick kid,
Scared to converse with her crush,
But brave enough to entangle into his story.
How could I not?
I long to stare in his eyes.
An eager foreshadowing.
I dream of dark compassionate eyes. Home.
But my the tales of my heart’s scars say
I fall for the hues of vibrant blue and green.
Oh where he is, my soul wonders,
Where does he rest his head tonight?
Not for a desperation to fill a void,
But a playful curiosity of his days before “us”.
I wish him to be safe, happy and at ease.
But I do not wish not to seek him out,
To chase a love into exertion.
When I am ready, he will appear.
When I can love, he will be here.
When time playfully intertwines our paths,
There will be two whole people. Strong. Ready.
A mutual knowing we do not need each other,
That either one is free to leave at any time.
Provoking an internal gratitude that we-
Two imperfect humans
Choose each other,
Choose to accept each other,
Choose to love each other.
A love cultivated by truth, not attachment.
My authentic voice knows without hesitation,
The more I release grip and control,
Magic mingles by allowing life to happen.
I trust this is the route to him.
Do not chase,
Do not worry,
Do not doubt,
All will reveal.
Sweet dreams my love, wherever you may rest your head tonight.
Photo credit: Pexels